Notice someone complimenting their boss a little too much or agreeing with everything a friend says, almost suspiciously? That’s a classic example of “kiss up to” in action. In this post, we’ll explore the meaning, origin, and practical examples of this idiom so you can spot it—or use it—like a pro.
Meaning of "Kiss up to"
“Kiss up to” is an informal idiom that describes the act of flattering someone, often someone in a higher position, to gain favor or advantage.
-
Primary meaning: To try to please or flatter someone in authority for personal gain.
-
Secondary meaning: To ingratiate oneself with someone to secure benefits, opportunities, or approval.
Simple summary: “Kiss up to” means to butter someone up to get what you want.
Origin of "Kiss up to"
The exact origin is a bit unclear, but most sources trace it back to American English in the mid-20th century. It likely comes from the literal idea of “kissing up” as in lifting someone’s spirits or showing exaggerated respect. Some linguists also connect it to the older phrase “toady up,” which referred to flattering someone servilely. Over time, “kiss up to” became widely used in workplaces, schools, and everyday life as a humorous but slightly critical expression.
Examples in Sentences
Here are some ways you can see “kiss up to” in action:
-
Workplace (formal-ish):
-
“She’s always trying to kiss up to the manager, hoping for a promotion.”
-
-
Casual conversation:
-
“Stop kissing up to him! He’s not impressed by constant compliments.”
-
-
School/Peer context:
-
“The new kid kissed up to the popular group, and now everyone thinks he’s funny.”
-
-
Humorous exaggeration:
-
“He kissed up to his cat so much that he was basically the dog’s understudy.”
-
-
Professional advice:
-
“Kissing up to clients rarely works long-term; genuine relationships matter more.”
-
-
Everyday life:
-
“I could tell he was kissing up to my grandma because she had cookies in her purse.”
-
Similar Idioms or Phrases
-
Brown-nose: Often used in office settings; means to flatter someone excessively for personal gain.
-
Suck up to: A more casual synonym for “kiss up to.”
-
Toady: Refers to someone who behaves obsequiously toward someone important.
-
Play up to: To behave in a way that gains approval or favor, often insincerely.
I’ve noticed that “kiss up to” often appears during group projects or office politics. While it can sometimes be effective, it usually comes across as transparent and can backfire if overdone. Personally, I find genuine compliments and teamwork feel much more rewarding than exaggerated flattery.
“Kiss up to” is a fun and slightly cheeky idiom that describes flattering someone to gain favor. We explored its meaning, possible origin, real-life examples, and similar expressions. Keep an eye out for it in conversations—and maybe use it wisely yourself! The next time someone is kissing up to another, you’ll recognize it instantly.